I Learnt to Let Go

My name is Ann and I am beautiful.

Behind this pretty face was an expressionless visage. That of a girl who did not believe in herself, who thought everyone else was more superior. A girl who could never voice her opinion, she feared people’s disapproval. A girl who believed she would amount to nothing in life, who never fought for what she wanted. A girl who let everyone have his way, she did not know how to say no. A girl who always allowed people to take away things that meant the world to her, who thought other people deserved better than her. A girl who did not explore her talents when she had the time, she could never make it anyway. She struggled with her confidence for decades, her self-esteem was at zero;

 but she learnt to let go.
Behind this beautiful smile was an ugly smirk. That of a girl who struggled with anxiety...What if I lose my job tomorrow, what if I fail that test, what if that shoe doesn't match with my clothes, what if... she was betrothed to worry. A girl who took life too seriously and did everything with a calculated plan. A girl who could not take a risk as she feared failure, always expecting the worst to happen. A girl who struggled while making decisions, who regretted everything she chose or opted. A girl who desperately clung onto the past, who wanted to remain in her comfort zone forever. A girl who watched herself almost fall into depression…she was a pessimist;
 but she learnt to let go.
Behind these cute dimples were meaningless depressions. Those of a girl disappointed one a many times by love, whose heart had been immensely hurt and broken into a million bitter pieces. A girl who thought her life was dependent on her significant other. A girl who thought her world would crumble if that special someone drifted and fell into someone else’s arms. She cried herself to sleep every night. A girl who allowed blame to eat her head away. She settled for less just to fit in the dating world. She constantly float in her self-induced sea of sadness…she no longer believed in true love;
 but she learnt to let go.

This girl found her inner self.

She faced life in a different way. She
learnt her limits. She learnt to appreciate everything that life offered her. She chose to learn from her choices and mistakes. She learnt to make herself happy with the things she previously overlooked and took for granted. She forgot the hurt, the reason she cried and who caused her pain; she let people be. She let things unfold in their own way and time. She learnt to smile, laugh, forgive and believe. She learnt to live without labels. She learnt to appreciate every minute of her life. She stopped depending on others for her happiness. She was strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait for what she deserves. She got the courage to venture into the unknown and take risks; she embraced change and optimism.  She learnt that everything happens with a reason and no matter what happens life goes on; she allowed this unpredictable life to surprise her. She learnt that no situation in life is permanent; even life; she got a tattoo

 “And this too shall pass”.

Inside this girl is a soul. A subconscious that knows its values, purpose, vision, goals, motivation and beliefs. I want to be an accomplished writer. I want to be a beauty queen in my own way. I want to leak with creativity. I want to be the best in what I do.  I want to fall in love with the most beautiful being. I want to walk down the aisle to Shayne filan’s “Beautiful in white”. I want to have the most adorable family. I want to be the best mom to my twin girls. I want to support them in whatever they choose to be or do. I want to live a fulfilled life.

 I want to be me.

My name is Ann. I love God. I love my life. I love my family. I love my friends. I love my job …most importantly; I love the person I have become;

 a happy person.